Stronger Than Me

You know I used to treasure and even envy those girls who you never saw cry. You know, the ones who seemed to brush every tragedy off like it was nothing. Freshman year, one of my closest friends was just like that. I mean the hardships this girl went through would send any normal human being to their grave. I looked up to her so much because she looked so strong through all of it. Never needed a shoulder to cry on, or a tissue to wipe the rare tears that broke through. I remember all the things that happened to her. I would just think, if I was in her situation, mang.. I wouldn't make. Wouldn't make it all. Cause I know I'm not strong. Ain't to proud, but I won't ever deny any of my characteristics. I wouldn't be able to do it. I am not a strong person and I know it. When shit goes awry, I will cry. I don't know what crying does, but I feel like it's like the weather. Sometimes the weather man doesn't give you the right forecast. I see everything sailing smoothly. Then bam, here comes the thunder, the lighting, and the rain. It could rain for a minute, a half an hour, an hour, a night, or days. But after every storm, there's gottabe sunshine. I mean, I'm not always so conventional, but I feel like those too should go together like PB&J. Well, let's jus say, put on your Burberry rainboots, cause we've got a storm coming. I mean I've had to deal with this shit since sophmore year, people stay in my business. They see me coming, and their mouths start blabing. "Is she? Is she not?" "Ray'qwan said he heard from Lou'quesha who's cousin Naynay heard from her hair dresser where she get dat fiffteen dalla weave piece from." Talk, talk, talk. Maybe I'm not meant to live here, in this town, with these people. Now I see why my moms sent me to a school 1/2 an hour away from here. Maybe I'm just so vulnerable, but I think having to endure 2 years of this shit has set its toll on me. I'm by myself on this. Cause you know, when you're sitting there in your room crying ya eyes out, there is NO ONE and I mean NO ONE there but yourself and God. So in the end that's all you have. All you have in life, the only two people you can count on to guide you in the right direction, that looks out for your well-being 24/7 and never doubts you, is YOU and GOD. So keep that in mind for the next time.